Picking Funny Goldfish Names is a surprisingly fun task, mostly because goldfish have so much personality packed into such a small tank. They beg for food, chase their own reflections, and drift around with a look of permanent confusion, and a good name should match all of that.
The best names are short, easy to say, and a little ridiculous. You’ll be calling them across the room at feeding time, so something punchy and fun usually works best.
Below you’ll find more than 400 ideas across twelve categories, from puns and food names to royal titles, bossy fish, speedy swimmers, and greedy eaters. If you’re also naming a furry friend, our list of funny hamster names has plenty more humor to borrow.
Not every name will fit every fish, and that’s fine. Say a few out loud and see which one gets the biggest laugh.
Funny Boy Goldfish Names
Male goldfish are quick to chase, quick to eat, and generally quick to cause trouble in the tank. These old-fashioned and slightly ridiculous names suit a boy fish who behaves like he’s the star of a very small stage. A fussy, formal name on a tiny fish is one of the oldest jokes in pet naming, and it works every time.
- Bartholomew
- Cuthbert
- Desmond
- Eugene
- Fitzgerald
- Horace
- Irving
- Julius
- Klaus
- Leopold
- Maurice
- Nigel
- Orville
- Percy
- Quentin
- Reginald
- Seymour
- Tobias
- Ulysses
- Vernon
- Xander
- Yosef
- Zachary
- Alistair
- Bertram
- Clarence
- Dennis
- Emmett
- Fergus
- Gilbert
- Harold
- Ivan
- Jerome
- Gus
- Hank
Funny Girl Goldfish Names
Female goldfish often grow rounder and calmer, drifting around the tank like they have somewhere important to be. These vintage names suit a lady fish with grace, attitude, and a very serious expression. The contrast between a grand old name and a tiny orange fish is where the humor really lives.
- Bernadette
- Cordelia
- Deirdre
- Eunice
- Fiona
- Genevieve
- Henrietta
- Ingrid
- Josephine
- Kathleen
- Lucille
- Marjorie
- Norma
- Octavia
- Prudence
- Queenie
- Rosalind
- Sybil
- Theodora
- Uma
- Vera
- Winifred
- Xenia
- Yolanda
- Zinnia
- Adelaide
- Blanche
- Charlotte
- Dorothy
- Edith
- Frances
- Greta
- Hilda
- Iris
- Jean
Pun-Based Goldfish Names
Fish are practically made for wordplay, from splash jokes to fin puns. These Funny Goldfish Names are built on groan-worthy humor, which is exactly what a creature with a three-second memory deserves, or so the myth goes. Puns also make great conversation starters when guests visit the tank.
- Fishy Business
- Reel Deal
- Fintastic
- Scale Model
- Ofishally
- Bubble Trouble
- Water You Doing
- Codfather
- Sir Swims-a-Lot
- Fin Wick
- Swim Jim
- Splashy
- Aqua Dork
- Tank You
- Pond Scum
- Wet Willie
- Bait and Switch
- Hook Line Sinker
- Fishful Thinking
- Gill-ty Pleasure
- Net Worth
- Fin-ally
- Make a Splash
- Sea You Later
- Carp Diem
- Sole Mate
- Fin Dependent
- Pier Pressure
- Tide Over
- Dr. Fishy
- Oh Carp
- Fish Out of Water
- Gill Gill
- Deep Thoughts
- Swim Fan
Food-Inspired Goldfish Names
Calling a goldfish after food is a classic joke, and a little bit dark in the best way. These names borrow from sushi, snacks, and breakfast, and every one sounds funnier when you say it to a fish. Don’t worry, your fish will never know what the name means.
- Sushi
- Sashimi
- Fish Stick
- Fish Taco
- Nugget
- Sardine
- Tuna
- Salmon
- Wasabi
- Ramen
- Nori
- Teriyaki
- Tempura
- Fish and Chips
- Chowder
- Gumbo
- Lox
- Bagel
- Caviar
- Cracker
- Biscuit
- Pretzel
- Pancake
- Waffle
- Taco
- Nacho
- Burrito
- Noodle
- Dumpling
- Meatball
- Tofu
- Mochi
- Cupcake
- Popcorn
- Marmalade
Names for Orange and Gold Goldfish
The classic goldfish glows in shades of orange and gold, so warm, sunny names fit perfectly. These borrow from spices, fruit, and shiny metals, and they look great on a fishbowl label. A warm name also suits the glow of tank lighting on bright scales.
- Goldie
- Sunny
- Amber
- Copper
- Tangerine
- Clementine
- Apricot
- Cinnamon
- Paprika
- Saffron
- Persimmon
- Terracotta
- Sienna
- Russet
- Maple
- Fox
- Sunset
- Autumn
- Harvest
- Carrot
- Tiger
- Mandarin
- Citrus
- Marigold
- Honey
- Butterscotch
- Topaz
- Citrine
- Sunbeam
- Doubloon
- Bullion
- Gilded
- Ochre
- Midas
- Blaze
Names for Fancy and Fantail Goldfish
Fancy goldfish like Orandas and Ryukins have flowing fins and dramatic tails that look like tiny ball gowns. These royal and elegant names match that over-the-top style. Long, flowing tails make these names feel especially fitting.
- Duchess
- Duke
- Baron
- Countess
- Lady Fins
- Majesty
- Empress
- Monarch
- Regent
- Sultan
- Tsar
- Pharaoh
- Caesar
- Viscount
- Marquis
- Sir Fins
- Princess
- Prince
- Tiara
- Crown
- Scepter
- Regal
- Noble
- Posh
- Fancy
- Dapper
- Dandy
- Elegance
- Ballerina
- Tutu
- Ribbon
- Veil
- Gown
- Chiffon
- Taffeta
Names for Tiny Baby Goldfish
Goldfish fry start out as tiny specks, and they grow faster than you’d expect. These small-sounding names suit a baby fish, and most of them still work once your goldfish has grown to full size. A name that works for a baby and an adult saves you from renaming later.
- Fry
- Pip
- Peep
- Tiny
- Bitty
- Mini
- Button
- Pebble
- Speck
- Smidge
- Squirt
- Teeny
- Itsy
- Thimble
- Dot
- Sprout
- Munchkin
- Pipsqueak
- Gumdrop
- Jellybean
- Sparkle
- Wee
- Tot
- Fleck
- Crumb
- Morsel
- Lil Fin
- Baby Bubbles
- Minnow
- Tadpole
- Bud
- Bean
- Twig
- Snippet
- Krill
Names for Bossy Goldfish
Some goldfish rule the tank like a tiny dictator, chasing tank mates and guarding the best spot near the filter. These names salute the bullies, the bosses, and the big fish in a small pond. A tough name is a funny contrast with a two-inch fish.
- Boss
- Bossy
- Tank Commander
- Captain
- Admiral
- General
- Sergeant
- Chief
- Alpha
- Top Fish
- Big Cheese
- Big Fish
- Little Shark
- Piranha
- Barracuda
- Hammerhead
- Great White
- Tiger Shark
- Bully
- Tough Guy
- Muscle
- Bruiser
- Brute
- Titan
- Giant
- Goliath
- Colossus
- Mighty
- Fierce
- Fearless
- Brave
- Bold
- Boldfin
- Dominator
- Overlord
Names for Speedy Goldfish
Goldfish can zip around the tank faster than you’d think, especially at feeding time. These speedy names fit a fish who treats every lap like an Olympic final. A fast name also fits a fish who never seems to stop swimming.
- Speedy
- Turbo
- Zoom
- Dash
- Bolt
- Rocket
- Torpedo
- Jet
- Zip
- Zippy
- Streak
- Sprint
- Racer
- Dart
- Arrow
- Bullet
- Missile
- Blitz
- Whirl
- Swish
- Whoosh
- Zigzag
- Lightning
- Comet
- Meteor
- Cheetah
- Ripple
- Wave
- Current
- Torrent
- Rapids
- Swoosh
- Skedaddle
- Hustle
- Pacer
Names for Goldfish Pairs and Duos
Goldfish are social and do better with company, so naming two together is half the fun. These duos are made to be said as a set, and they work for best friends or constant rivals. If you’re naming another pet at the same time, our list of cute bunny names has plenty of sweet options. A matching pair of names also makes it easy to tell two similar fish apart.
- Salt and Pepper
- Bonnie and Clyde
- Salt and Vinegar
- Peanut and Jelly
- Mac and Cheese
- Bread and Butter
- Sugar and Spice
- Cookies and Cream
- Tea and Toast
- Rum and Raisin
- Thelma and Louise
- Romeo and Juliet
- Lox and Bagel
- Jam and Toast
- Rice and Beans
- Cheese and Crackers
- Pen and Ink
- Day and Night
- Sun and Moon
- Fire and Ice
- Hide and Seek
- Bubble and Squeak
- Thunder and Lightning
- Cake and Tea
- Milk and Honey
- Cocoa and Cream
- Tic and Tac
- Nip and Tuck
- Oil and Vinegar
- Pork and Beans
- Apple and Pie
- Peas and Carrots
- Surf and Turf
- Sink or Swim
- Hook and Line
Fake Official Title Goldfish Names
Giving a goldfish a ridiculous title is one of the funniest pet traditions. These names turn a tiny orange fish into a doctor, a judge, or a deeply serious head of state. Deliver the title with a straight face and every bubble sounds official.
- Sir Finsalot
- Dr. Fishington
- Captain Bubbles
- Professor Gills
- Lord Swimmington
- Earl of Ponds
- Baron von Bubbles
- Admiral Fin
- Commander Splash
- Sergeant Scales
- Judge Gills
- Senator Splash
- Chancellor Fin
- Reverend Fish
- Madame Gills
- Lady Splashington
- Prince Bubbles
- Princess Fin
- Colonel Flakes
- Major Splash
- Dean Dribble
- Principal Gills
- Doctor Pond
- Agent Fin
- Officer Bubbles
- Detective Gills
- Sheriff Scales
- Coach Splash
- Chef Fin
- President Fin
- Emperor Fin
- Mayor Bubbles
- Bishop Fish
- Count Fishula
- King Flake
Names for Goldfish Who Never Stop Eating
Goldfish act like they’ve never eaten in their lives, no matter how recently you fed them. These names salute the bottomless pit, the flake fiend, and the tiny gourmand of the tank. Remember that a goldfish who begs is still best fed small, careful portions.
- Hungry
- Vacuum
- Gobbler
- Gulper
- Muncher
- Chomper
- Snack Attack
- Bottomless
- Disposal
- Trash Can
- Piggy
- Gobble
- Nibbles
- Starving
- Famished
- Ravenous
- Glutton
- Foodie
- Gourmand
- Buffet
- All You Can Eat
- Second Helping
- Seconds
- Thirds
- Flake Fiend
- Pellet Pirate
- Peckish
- Appetite
- Bottomfeeder
- Snacker
- Marathon
- Feast
- Feeding Frenzy
- Dinner Bell
- Mealtime
Final Thoughts
The best Funny Goldfish Names come from watching your fish for a few days. A signature loop, a dramatic dash for the flakes, or a bossy streak toward the tank mates can hand you the perfect name for free.
Say your favorites out loud before you commit. A good name should be easy to call, fun to say, and still make you laugh on a quiet evening a few years from now.
Goldfish can live for a decade or more with good care, so it’s worth choosing something you’ll enjoy for a long time. Pick a name that fits your sense of humor, and your tiny roommate will carry it with plenty of confidence.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some funny goldfish names?
Classics like Sushi, Fish Stick, Codfather, and Sir Finsalot are always popular. Puns and fake titles tend to get the biggest laughs, and most work for boys and girls alike.
What are good names for a pair of goldfish?
Pair names like Salt and Vinegar, Bonnie and Clyde, or Peas and Carrots are easy to say as a set. Goldfish do better with company, so a matching pair of names is a nice touch.
What are cute names for an orange goldfish?
Names like Goldie, Marigold, Clementine, and Butterscotch match the warm orange glow of a classic goldfish.
Do goldfish know their names?
Goldfish can learn to associate your presence with food, but they don’t really respond to a name the way a dog would. A name is mostly for you, which means you can pick the funniest one.
Should a goldfish name be short or long?
Short names of one or two syllables are easiest to say. A longer joke name can still work if you have a short nickname you actually use.
What are good names for a baby goldfish?
Small-sounding names like Fry, Pip, Pebble, and Speck fit a tiny fish well, and most of them still sound great once it has grown.
Can I name my goldfish after food?
Absolutely. Names like Sushi, Nugget, and Wasabi are a classic joke, and your fish will never know the difference.
How do I choose the right name for my goldfish?
Watch your fish for a few days and pick a name that matches a real habit or look. A name tied to something true will always feel funnier and more natural than one picked at random.
Hobby & Animal Names
Leo Hartman has owned dogs, birds, and one very difficult goat. He writes the hobby and animal names content here. Before any name makes the list, he tries it out loud first, usually on his dog, to see if it actually sounds right.